So….

One of my favorite places in the world to buy books is the Salvation Army.   I mean, think about it.  People who give books to charities typically have better than average fare in the way of reading material to donate.  Scholarly texts, current releases (that apparently some people can pick up and discard like used soda cans), everything.  The going rate at our location is $1.00 for hard covers, .50 for soft or tradepaper.  Anything that has been on the shelf longer than a week gets marked down by half. 

Not surprisingly, then, I managed to pick up Aristotle to Zoos:  A Philosophical Dictionary of Biology for a mere quarter, among other gems.  Half-Price Books now seems ridiculously expensive to me:  cocaine to my Salvation Army crack. 

I typically go once a week for my fix.  On my last visit, there was a woman ahead of me at the check-out.  She had a cart full of at least a dozen books.  She looked not unlike the woman in the cartoon above, only older and toothless.  There was nothing in her cart except the books.  I glanced at the titles as she slowly placed each tattered and yellowed copy on the counter.  Every single one was a bodice-ripper.  Fiery vixens being willingly violated by long-haired men with glistening pecs.  Innocent ingenues succumbing to the charms of well-dressed (but still glistening) men.   Women in faux-teacher outfits…you know, hair in a bun but coming loose, blouses unbuttoned, glasses at the edge of the nose, chewing stupidly on a pencil (men…what is up with the retarded chewing?  Is that really attractive?) and glancing provactively over one shoulder while a man leans seductively in the doorway, glistening, of course.

I had two thoughts.  First, the bitchy thoughts:  When does one give up the hope of having a bodice-ripping experience?  Do these “romance” writers know that their audience consists, at least somewhat, of 70+ year old fat, toothless women? 

Second, the better thoughts:  At least she’s reading.  Who knows?  Maybe she has a hot sex life.  And doesn’t sit in front of a computer 15 hrs a day, like me. 

Posted Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:53:08 and filed under jamie, Websites, Humor. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.